Mean Streak

I had a few misgivings, maybe more than a few
Trust is so hard to come by, so, maybe I'm through
Try to take advantage, manage it, yet alone then
I knew
Sometimes we are all liars
Lack of control?
That's nothing new
I want to say that I can handle it
Put a restraint on my behavior and maybe I won't be so
Full of myself
But then I feel that mean streak
Coursing down my spine
And right then I realize that I'm out of time.
I snap and I give in
Said "I knew you were just gaming me!"
But I didn't mean that
See my fears got the best of me
Coupled with irrationality, losing grip with my reality and suddenly
I can't even remember how we got "here"
I turn my back for five seconds and right then
You are my enemy
When all you ever wanted was to just be such a friend to me
When did it all break down?
When did I just throw it
All away, and now I'm sad to say
This mean streak has been playing me